Happy Mother's Day, Ladies!

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This is your day.  You are a mother – the hardest job in the world!  This is the day we celebrate all mothers – those that are still with us and those who still live with us, even though they have now gone.

This post will be pretty short.  There’s just not much to say, except that I love and miss my mother.  Terribly. This is a difficult day for me and just posting this blog post took a lot of mental effort.  But it’s nothing compared to what my mother has given me all through my life.

In an earlier post, I had mentioned that I was still in grief after losing my Mom to pancreatic cancer on August 15, 2012.  That was the absolute worst.  But I’m not the only one dealing with the pain.  My life partner, C, lost his mother on this day in 2012.  This day is also my mother’s birthday.  She would have turned 60.

I also mentioned that my mother’s birthday has always been a day before, a day after, or the same day as Mother’s Day.  So, here’s what I’m dealing with today:

May 11, 2012Mom celebrates her 58th birthday.  This would be her last birthday.

May 11, 2012My mother-in-law passes away.  She was 67 years old.

May 11, 2014Mother’s Day.

In addition to this, it was gray and raining all day yesterday.  The weather definitely matched the mood around our house.  There was a small, bright spot with Shimmy Mob today (upcoming post).  It was nice, but I’m also fighting a cold – so my heart wasn’t totally into it this year.  I started to apologize for that, but I won’t.  I also won’t bore you with the contempt I’ve been feeling for some of the other nonsense that’s going on in my life.  Let’s just say, it’s been a bleak month. 

OK.  Let’s start with a couple of pictures to suck some of the negativity out of the room and out of my head:

 

Day of Mom's graduation, earning her Bachelors of Science degree in Nursing, circa 1983.
Day of Mom’s graduation, earning her Bachelors of Science degree in Nursing, 1983.

 

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Family portrait taken for Mom’s church, 2011.

 

My mother was a sweet, gentle and caring woman.  Her name was Golden (named after her dad), but everyone called her Goldie.  She was a real, salt of the earth woman and didn’t concern herself with makeup, jewelry and other fussy matters – unlike her daughter (ha ha).  I was very proud of her.  She raised my sister and me by herself, finished college, and worked as a registered nurse for over 25 years.  A few of her co-workers told us that she saved them from quitting nursing.  Nursing’s a tough job, so that was no small feat.

 

This poem was dedicated to my Mom, by James L. Coon - poet and grateful patient
This poem was dedicated to my Mom, by James L. Coon – poet and grateful patient

 

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“Why do you want a picture of me at work?”, she asked me, confused. I think this picture really captures the kindness and compassion she had for her patients.

 

Here are a couple of pics of Mama Joan, my mother-in-law.  Mama Joan was a force to be reckoned with.  She was kind and not afraid of anything.  She couldn’t sit still either; she was always traveling somewhere.  By the time you found out that she was in Seattle, she would actually be in Atlanta.  Always on the move.  She was fierce, and luckily, she liked me.  We got along swimmingly.

 

With my partner (left) and adopted brother, Emmanuel.
With C  (left) and his adopted brother, Emmanuel –  circa 2004

 

with Mama Joan, 2004

 

I miss both of these women terribly.  I have not been handling my mother’s death that well.  But I’ve accepted that it’ll take some time.  The pain is still raw and I may never recover, but I draw on Mom’s strength to help me navigate this insane world.  Her smile always made me happy.  

 

I love you, Mom.  Always and forever.

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 “But behind all your stories is always your mother’s story, because hers is where yours begins.”

– Mitch Albom

 

Love, Hugs, and Shimmies,

Dasia Denise

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